Taking Woodstock

Taking Woodstock

(Ang Lee, 2009)


A man working at his parents’ motel in the Catskills inadvertently sets in motion the generation-defining concert in the summer of 1969.

First of all, we gotta talk about the fact that so many people in movies suck at running motels.  The motels are depressing, awful places, and the owners are usually sad people, or totally psycho, (like in the movie Psycho).  These people never seem to be happy to be running these motels.  How the heck did they start out?


Luckily, for these old crotchety assholes they have their entrepreneurial son, Elliot, played by Demetri Martin.  He is a painter and designer, who lives in New York, and goes back to the Catskills to figure out how to help his parents and the small town.  His parents are pretty awful.  As the movie progresses his parents seem to chill out and enjoy themselves.  They are definitely happy for the business and money that comes in.

mom and dad

They may be happy, but the townspeople are not all feeling the same.  Some are happy that the festival is coming to town.  They are happy for the business that will help to revive the town and put some much-needed money in their pockets.  Some are not happy that a ton of hippies will be invading their little town.  One of these unhappy people is Dan, who is played by Jeffrey Dean Morgan, (who looks a lot like Javier Bardem, like A LOT!!).  His brother, Billy, who is played by Emile Hirsch, is back from the Vietnam war and is suffering from PTSD.  He has flashbacks throughout the film, and seems to be taking back his life and mind after the atrocities that he saw while fighting in the war.


Can’t really blame the unhappy people, hippies are literally the worst.


Gotta say, there is a lot of penis in this movie.  There is one scene where everyone is naked.  You don’t always see penis in movies!  If you like penis, then you will like this movie.  Also, if you like pubic hair.  There is a ton of pubic hair.

The mom is a real firecracker!  The dad is too.  They both fight off some gangsters who want to do security for the motel for a hefty sum.  Like, they literally fight them.  It is amazing.

Enter, Liev Schrieber, who plays Vetty Von Vilma, a “gay transvestite”, according to IMDB.  She is hired to do the security.


I think this movie really did well to show how crazy, dirty, but also amazing Woodstock was when it was happening.  It is crazy to think that it was the first huge outdoor festival of its kind.  The sheer amount of people is insane.  A great scene is when Elliot gets a ride with a cop to the festival.  The screen is cut in two or three segments, which all show different parts of the festival.  It shows the different types of people who attended the show.  There were hippies of course, but there was so many different types of hippies.  The anti-war ones, the acid trippers, the weekend hippies who were there for the music.  Some people were full time hippies, who live in a van and travel the country, and those who take advantage of hippies.

the walk

Elliot later finds out that his mom has a bunch of money that she has been saving over the years.  The money would have saved the business.  He is very mad because he used all of his money to help them, and not to mention, all of his time.  She seems more than happy to let him suffer and struggle to make life better for them.

It is an interesting movie.  I had never heard of it before, and did not know what to think.  But, I was pleasantly surprised.  The movie portrayed not only the hard work put into putting on Woodstock, but also the relationships that were formed and strengthened while the show went on.  I like that the movie shows the everyday people and not the celebrities at Woodstock.

I definitely recommend this ‘Taking Woodstock’, especially if you are a fan of the 60’s.

‘Taking Woodstock’ gets 4.5 “dirty hippie penises” out of a possible 5.



Summer school

Summer school

(Carl Reiner, 1987)


A high-school gym teacher has big plans for the summer, but is forced to cancel them to teach a “bonehead” English class for misfit goof-off students. Fortunately, his unconventional brand of teaching fun field trips begins to connect with them, and even inspires ardor in some.

Shoop, who is a high school gym teacher has to teach a summer remedial english class to a bunch of rando students, who have failed an english skills test.  The students are described as a bunch of misfits prone to goofing off.


First of all, Shoop is not teacher of the year, but the hottie with a body next door certainly would win the award!  The hottie is Ms. Robin Elizabeth Bishop, played by Kirstie Alley.  She teaches the advanced english class.  She is also dating the vice principal, who seems to be a real douche canoe.


Shoop, who is up for a tenure position at the school, is told that in order to obtain the job everyone in the summer school class has to pass the final exam.  The students make a deal with him to get what they need, i.e. driving lessons, rides to the beach, and they will show up for class and pay attention.

Shoop asks for help from Ms. Bishop, and she agrees?  She even bails him out of jail and stands up to the “bite in the ass” vice principal, as well as in court!  I think she loves him!!

Boy, teenagers in the 80’s were zany!  And their parties were off da’ hook!  Every party in every 80’s movie is soooooo wild, like “burn the house down afterwards” wild!


‘Summer school’ is another Carl Reiner movie, which was made two years after ‘Summer rental’.  This movie has a ‘Breakfast club’ vibe, but is the whole summer!


The most random scene in the movie is when Shoop finds a male student stripping at a male strip club.  Why?!  Why is he there?!  WHY!?  Eventually, the student loses  his job because the club found out how old he is, also his mom and aunt were at the club.  Ewww on all levels.

strip club

There are a lot of familiar faces in this movie:

Patrick Labyouteaux, (huh? Hell of a last name!), who was “Ram” in the movie ‘Heathers’.  He plays another football meathead in this movie, but this time he is a sweet heart and develops a relationship with a pregnant chick.

Courtney Thorne-Smith from ‘Melrose place’ and ‘Ally McBeal’.  Her character is a spaced-out, surfer chick.  She also has a big crush on Shoop.

Dean Cameron, who plays “Francis ‘Chainsaw’ Gremp”.  He and his buddy are obsessed with horror movies and the new hot chick, who is played by…


Fabiana Udenio, who was “Alotta Fagina” in ‘Austin Powers’.

Shawnee Smith from ‘Who’s Harry Crumb’.  She plays a pregnant teenager, (Ram’s love interest), who is totally different than Nikki Downing, her character in ‘Harry Crumb’.  Nikki was the “Penny” to John Candy’s “Inspector Gadget” in that movie.


Keep an eye out for Denise’s zebra print outfit.  WANT!


Shoop ends up quitting when the students ask for more incentive to study for the test.  The vice principal shows up to teach the class, it goes well, (not).  He calls the kids psycho, and in retailiation they set up a horror scene the next day, which scares off a possible teacher.  They convince the vice principal to hire back Shoop.  The kids are able to get Shoop to come back, and they study their misfit butts off.  Unfortunately, they all fail the test and commit mass suicide in the gymnasium.


Okay, just kidding.  But, most of them do fail the test, but their test scores have improved enough that the principal is convinced that Shoop is a good teacher, obviously he does not know what a good teacher actually is like.  Shoop gets tenure.

In the end, the students are better people, Shoop is a better teacher, (questionable), and Robin falls for Shoop.  But the biggest triumph is that Shoop’s dog gets his lost toy back!! (I am a dog person now).

Quotable: “Why don’t you order two lunches and eat them both yourself.  One for each face!” -Ms. Bishop to vice principal (way harsh, tai)

Summer school gets 5 “bonehead teachers, who don’t give a damn, but really start to care when they get to know the students” out of a possible 5.



Summer Rental (1985)

Summer Rental (1985, Carl Reiner)


An overworked air-traffic controller takes his family on a beach vacation but is soon beset by series of mishaps.

Mishaps is correct!  Don’t worry, if you want a movie that has all of the quintessential, cheesy, summer doofus moves, then this is the movie for you!  If you don’t want to watch a garbage movie, well then, keep looking!  I really wanted to like this movie, but alas, it just was not turning my crank.  It is unfortunate because I really like John Candy and Carl Reiner.


I love love love John Candy!  He always plays the loveable idiot in movies, but in ‘Summer rental’, his character, Jack, is just kind of an asshole!  I get that he wants a nice vacation, but he does not seem to handle set backs very well.  He just seems angry all of the time.  It is a very different role than any of the others he has played, in which he may get angry but the fact that he does nothing and lets people get away with everything makes him the, “big hearted buffoon” that IMDB states.  His characters in ‘who’s Harry Crumb’, ‘Uncle Buck’, ‘Delirious’, and ‘the great outdoors’ always seem to be in second place, but yet they come out the winner because they do not give up, which is true with Jack, but they seem not be a true dick deep down.  I don’t trust Jack.  Something shifty about this guy.  I think that it is because he is a buffoon, but does not apologize for any of his buffoonery.

John Candy was Canadian, and unfortunately his last film was ‘Canadian bacon’, which he ironically had a heart attack after making, and then subsequently died.  Very tragic.

Carl Reiner, is still alive!  According to Wikipedia his career has spanned almost seven decades!  That is pretty impressive!  He directed one of my all-time fav movies, ‘the jerk’ with Steve Martin.  You should definitely check that one out!!

The mishaps in this movie are classic.  You got the guys ogling the beach babes running, the massive sunburn on the first day, and the smarmy rich asshole sailor guy who steals your table at a seafood restaurant.  Classic!

Turns out this asshole sailor guy hates the summer renters, or as we called them back home, “tourpests”.  Of course, the house that they move into and think they have rented from a friend turns out to be on the wrong street.  The actual house is awful, and the landlord is the asshole sailor guy.  Classic!

rich asshole

In true buffoon fashion, Jack decides that he will learn how to sail, and then challenges the landlord in the local regatta.  If they win then they get to stay in the house, of course the rental period was only for a month?!  Not sure if they are staying longer, maybe I missed that part.

Anyways, they win the regatta by pulling a couple stunts, like throwing all of the frozen food in the freezer off the boat, which is littering and does not provide a very moral lesson about how to win a regatta.  Jack also takes off his pants to use as a sail.  Classic sailing tactic!


To be honest, I didn’t really like this movie.  I had such high hopes!  Not sure I would recommend it.  This movie felt like a lame version of ‘National Lampoon’s Vacation’.  There are better “summer fun” movies out there, and hopefully I will watch some of them!  You don’t even see any boobs!  What is the point?!  If boobs aren’t seen in a summer movie is it a summer movie????

Quotable: “He is a life guard, they are all sex maniacs!  Right now each of his gonads are screaming “me first”!

life guards.jpg

‘Summer Rental’ receives 2 boobs out of a possible 5.



Back at it in July: Summer fun movies!

After a break, I am ready to spoil some more movies!!  June was hot, but July is going to be crazy hot, well at least on this blog!  July’s theme is “Summer Fun” movies.  I am going to watch and review, well spoil, movies about summer break.  There is actually a lot of movies that delve into this complicated topic, okay, not so complicated.  But, to be fair, a lot can happen over the summer.  You could find a dead guy or get boobs!  Both very traumatic.

The movies that may, or may not, be spoiled in July are as follows:

The Seven year itch; Summer rental; Now & then; Moonrise Kingdom; Taking woodstock; Monte Carlo; Dirty dancing; Jaws; The sisterhood of the traveling pants….

This a quick list, which may change depending on my watching needs.

Keep your eyes glued here for a nice summer fun movie spoil session!!





(1958, Alfred Hitchcock)


A San Francisco detective suffering from acrophobia investigates the strange activities of an old friend’s wife, all the while becoming dangerously obsessed with her.

Acrophobia: the irrational fear of heights, not the same as vertigo, which is the feelings of disillusionment and dizziness.  I am not sure the main character, John “Scottie” Ferguson, played by James Stewart, understands the difference.  Maybe in his day they were the same thing.  Oh, the good old old old days.

I will admit his fainting face is hilarious.


The bad:

Okay, not to be a dick, but Stewart is not my favourite actor.  His voice and accent are strange.  He does seem like he would have been a nice guy, or a raging lunatic, but I guess everyone is like that.


In the movie his character watches a colleague fall from the top of a building, which traumatizes him and he develops acrophobia.  Due to his acrophobia, he leaves the force, where he was a detective.  A friend of his from college, who is also a wealthy shipbuilder, asks Scottie if he will follow his wife, who he suspects is going nuts.  He believes his wife has been possessed the spirit of some chick who killed herself.  Apparently, his wife’s grandmother killed herself, therefore the crazy “is in her blood”.  Stick to building ship’s, buddy.  And killing chicks! Oops.  He also knows everything that his wife does when she is alone.  WHEN SHE IS ALONE?!  Now, how the fuck does he know that?!  He claims her mother told her what she does?!  Yeah, okay.  This guy is weird.

Of course, Scottie follows the beautiful and mysterious, Madeleine, played by Kim Novak (don’t worry, she is in the good), and then falls in love with her.  It really did not take much for two strangers to fall in love in the late ’50’s.

The husband/wealthy ship builder hatches a plan to fake his wife’s death by throwing some other chick out of a bell tower.  Totally believable.  I am sure this kind of thing happens all of the time.  When old Scottie sees her fall his acrophobia/vertigo is TRIGGERED.

Eventually, he finds a chick named “judy” that looks exactly like Madeleine.  He is obsessed and tries to make over “judy” as Madeleine.  Of course, “judy” is Madeleine.  Once again, totally normal.

Basically, the plot of this movie is weird.  It is considered a classic and one of the best films of all time.  I am not sure about that.  Maybe I am too critical, but I like other Hitchcock films more.  It could also be that I just recently listened to Tippi Hedren’s autobiography, and Hitchcock was a total ass to her.  It is hard to like men of that sort of character.


Apparently, when this movie debuted it did not do well.  Hitchcock blamed old James Stewart for being too old.  Yep.  He is old.  Especially compared to the young Novak, and his buddy Midge played by Barbara Bel Geddes, (more about her in the good), who looks way younger and is supposed to be a friend of his from college.  Sure.

The good:

Kim Novak!  She is awesome.  I love everything she wears in this movie.  Of course, that is due to the styling of Edith Head.


Hitchcock had a thing for blondes.  Many blondes played the leading ladies in his films: Janet Leigh in Psycho, Tippi Hendren in The Birds, Eve Saint Marie in North by Northwest, and Grace Kelly in Rear Window.


The scenery in this movie is amazing.  Honestly, Hitchcock knew a good angle!  The shots in this film are incredible.  It really feels like every shot was thoroughly thought out and that he knew exactly what he wanted.  His film-making has always reminded me of Sofia Coppola’s style.


I love Midge!  Her apartment is so cool.  She is an artist, who designs bras?  Sure, whatever.  Basically, she is in love with Scottie, always has been, and is single and lives alone.  She is the old, (but actually young), maid.  It is weird because Midge paints a portrait of herself as Carlotta, (the chick who Madeleine is obsessed with), and is surprised when Scottie doesn’t think it is funny.  She proceeds to have a breakdown.  Turns out there is more than one crazy blonde bitch in this movie.  I can’t believe she took the time to paint the portrait!  It was really good.  That would have taken a long time.  Shouldn’t she be designing bras and taking in stray cats?


In the end, Scottie goes nuts.  He is haunted by the memory of Madeleine.  After dressing “judy” up like her, he takes her to the same bell tower and makes her walk up the stairs.  He looks deranged, and old.  As he is walking up the stairs he is triggered a bunch of times, but just keeps going!  What a trooper.  He ends up overcoming his acrophobia/vertigo by forcing himself up the stairs.  Once.  Not sure that is the way it works, but what do I know.

He should have called this chick!  Saved himself climbing all of those dang stairs.  This guy is olde.  I added the ‘e’ because he is damn old!


Audrey Hepburn apparently wanted Kim Novak’s role.  She would have been excellent!

Of course, the ending is pretty quick.  They get up to the top of the bell tower and she jumps out the window when a nun appears.  My reaction as well.  Then the movie is over.  Was “judy” Madeleine?  Yes.  Actually, she was impersonating Madeleine.  Why? Well, because Gavin had already killed his wife and needed someone to play her.  He wanted to make it seem that she was possessed and crazy, therefore the police would believe she killed herself.  Why did he kill his actual wife?  Not sure.  Why wasn’t any of this actually mentioned in the movie?  Once again, not sure.  It would have been nice to know a little more about the husband and his motives.  Maybe, old Scottie could have been suspicious of him and his treatment of Madeleine.  That could have made the love part a little more believable.  He was obsessed with taking care of the victim, Madeleine.  To be honest, I had to go check out the wikipedia page to fully understand what the hell was going on.  Maybe I am tired or dumb, or both.

Well, this is a classic.  The story is not the greatest, but that is me.  The movie as a whole is beautifully shot, and is worth a watch.

Vertigo receives 4 TRIGGERED old Jimmy Stewart’s out of a possible 5.  (that face! bah!)


The Snake Pit

The Snake Pit (Anatole Litvak, 1948)


A detailed chronicle of a woman during her stay in a mental institution.

The Snake Pit is a very interesting film about a woman who is in a mental institution.  The beginning of the film starts out the way most of my mornings after a drunken night: confused woman who thinks she is at the zoo.

Virginia, played by Olivia de Haviliand, starts the film acting very mysterious.  She works at a newspaper and falls in love with her co-worker, Robert cunningham (Mark Stevens).  One day she disappears, and then one day re-appears again.  He wants to get married, but she resists.  Finally, she asks why he doesn’t want to marry her, which he has said that he does, this is the first sign of her batshit craziness.

What is wrong with this gal?  While watching a movie she cries over the date May 12th, okay.  And then she complains of not being able to sleep.  Finally, her Robert takes her to see a doctor because she thinks it is November, but it is May 12th!!! Whoa!  She then freaks the f’ out and claims that no one can love her.

The doctor, of course, wants to do shock treatment.  That seems like a theme this month.  Shock treatment, or Electroconvulsive Therapy, (ECT), is a very controversial treatment option.  It usually is a last resort for patients with depression, who do not respond to other treatments.  Whether it actually works or not has not been confirmed.  In the film, Virginia is given many shock treatments, which seem to do nothing, until finally she is said to be more alert.  Well, that’s something I guess.


The film is a good portrayal of mental institutions in the 40’s and 50’s, in which women were committed for varying, and often problematic reasons.  A lot of the reasons for being committed, usually by their husbands or families, were due to emotional instability or other feminine gender role characteristics.  It is crazy to think that a woman could be emotional because of a miscarriage or something and end up getting numerous shock treatments, drug therapies, and lose their freedom.


Another theme in the movies reviewed so far is the doctors have pictures of Freud in their offices.  Freud is thought to be the father of modern psychology, which is interesting because his theories were based on no research, not testable, and severely sexist towards women.


The film is frustrating because Virginia has no say at all in her future or treatment.  Her husband commits her, and then has to sign off on her treatment.  It is also not disclosed what is wrong with her, but the doctor suspects that something traumatic happened in her past that she has not told anyone about.  The doctor does not want her to leave the hospital to go live on a farm with her husband because he has not finished his treatment.  He claims that he has to finish the treatment and find out what happened in her past before it is “too late”!  During a hypnosis treatment she mentions a man named Gordon.  She also seems to have some daddy issues.  Dammit Freud is always right.

daddy issues

The doctor uses Freud’s theory to psychoanalyze Virginia.  She was not close to her mom, and then she wanted to kill her father because he was strict, but really loving as well, so then she got sick because this guy who reminded her of her father wanted to get married and then he died, so then she went back to Robert because he reminded her of her father too… and now I have gone cross-eyed.

The Snake Pit is an interesting film because it helped to change the conditions in American mental institutions.  It also has sparked debate on the feminine gender roles and themes by feminist writers.  The idea that in order for Virginia to leave the hospital as a cured woman she must become a homemaker and be subservient to her husband offers a limited and sexist view of women’s mental health and autonomy.

In general, I think The Snake Pit is a really good film, and definitely portrays an accurate picture of the male-dominated field of psychology.  Things have changed over the years, but not enough.  Women who do not fit or act within the subscribed female gender roles tend to be constructed as crazy or outside of the norm.  A very poignant scene in the film is when Virginia finds herself on level 12, which seems to be the ward where all of the difficult women are held.  The women are walking in circles around a rug, and Virginia gets in trouble for sitting on the rug.  Apparently the rug is brand new, and level 12 is the only level to get a new rug, therefore no one is allowed on it.  So funny that the rules of the institution are weird and do not make sense.  It is strange to think that a bunch of medicated women who are told they are crazy have to make sense of stupid rules, like “stay of the rug”.

I definitely recommend The Snake Pit.  It may not be funny, but it certainly portrays how  funny and ridiculous mental institutions and psychology could be.  The name of the film is taken from a supposed treatment of insane people, in which they would be thrown into a snake pit to shock them into getting better.  Seems legit.  In the end, all that Virginia needed was some good ol’ mansplaining.  What every woman needs.

The Snake Pit receives 4.5 apparently batshit bitches out of a possible 5.


Shock Treatment

Shock Treatment (Richard O’Brien, 1981)



Janet (Jessica Harper) and Brad (Cliff De Young) become contestants on a game show… but wind up as captives instead.

Shock Treatment is the not-sequel to The Rocky Horror Picture Show, which is one of my all-time favourite movies.  I have never heard of Shock Treatment before!  I found it on clearance at an HMV, (a Canadian music store that is closing).  They had a lot of copies, which I think I should go buy and give them to friends and family for Christmas.  This movie is strange.  Like, Rocky Horror was strange, but a cult classic that had endearing characters and songs, (and dances), that everyone knows.  But, Shock Treatment, not so much.

To be honest, the story line is not too bad.  Brad and Janet are married, back in their home town, Denton.  Denton claims to be the happiest place in America.  The town is run by Farley Flavours (Cliff De Young), who runs a fast food chain.  The entire town participates in a game show of sorts and a television station.  It is weird, don’t get me wrong, but it is kind of an interesting concept.  The movies ridiculousness reminded me of the movie Heathers, which I have already reviewed, you can read it here.

Brad, apparently winning a prize, ends up in a mental hospital.  The hospital is run by two familiar faces, Riff Raff (Richard O’Brien) and Magenta (Patricia Quinn) from Rocky Horror.  They are apparently doctors?  Columbia (Nell Campbell) works at the hospital as a nurse.


The music is not awful.  It sounded similar to Rocky Horror.  I did like the song, Lullaby, that was performed at the hospital when the staff and Janet were going to bed.  Watch it here.  For some reason, Janet was forced to stay at the hospital when she went to visit Brad.  Janet’s parents are not impressed with the treatment of Brad at the hospital, and equally unimpressed with Janet’s behaviour.  She has become a diva because of her star status.  Not sure why she is a star, but okay!  In normal diva behaviour, Janet thinks she is too good for Brad, and eventually the doctors become worried.  It is later found out that Mr. Flavours is not all that he is cracked up to be.  Not an alien transvestite, but an orphan (gasp!).  Actually, he is Brad’s twin bother, which no one realized?!


Jessica Harper played Suzy Bannion in Suspira (1977).  Another weird cult classic.  I thought she looked familiar.  Which, by the way, is in what looks like a re-make of Suspira, that is in post-production right now.  Interesting.


According to Wikipedia, Shock Treatment was adapted for the stage in London.  I think this would be a fun show to put on!

If you are looking for some strange, 80’s fun, then this is the movie for you!  I can see why Rocky Horror fans did not like this movie as much, but it is still a fun watch.  Richard O’Brien said that it wasn’t a “sequel, or prequel, but an equal!”  I am not sure about that!

Quotables:   “Look what I did to my Id!” -song title; Freud would have argued, that it is what your id does to you, not the other way around.

“Miss Mental Health!!” – Janet’s new title

Shock Treatment recieves 3.5 deranged supposed doctors out of a possible 5.