The Santa Clause
(John Pasquin, 1994)
When a man inadvertantly kills Santa on Christmas Eve, he finds himself magically recruited to take his place.
For some reason, I thought this movie starred a 90’s JTT, (Jonathan Taylor Thomas), but alas, no. I was very disappointed to see Tim Allen. Oh well, we will have to make due.
This is what I was thinking of… Dang.
Anyways, The Santa clause opens with Scott Calvin, (Tim Allen), rushing home to meet his ex-wife, who sucks and has a sucky boyfriend, (Judge Reinhold). His kid, Charlie played by Eric Lloyd, is having an existential crisis: a kid at school told him there was no Santa. He is bummed, and it just gets worse for him, despite Daddy Allen’s effort. Little Charlie starts to question everything, “how do reindeer fly?”, “how does Santa get down the chimney if he is so fat?” Rude! Christmas is not everything it is cracked up to be for poor Charlie. Scott burns the turkey, and they have to have Christmas dinner at Denny’s.
If you think poor little Charlie has is it bad, wait until you see what happens to Santa! Death, death happens to Santa.
Okay, not like that! More like, he fell off the roof and died, and then disappeared! Spooky!
In dead Santa’s pocket there is a card saying to put on the suit and the reindeer will know what to do. Charlie climbs into the sleigh, Scott follows and off they go!!
The special effects in this movie are very 1994: BAD!
Reluctantly, Scott puts on the Santa suit and becomes the new Santa! After delivering the toys, the reindeer take him to the North Pole where he meets Bernard the elf.
Scott is informed that he is in fact the next Santa. He has the next 11 months to get his affairs in order, and then is due back at the North Pole to resume his duties as the big guy in red. I can’t imagine this would be an easy pill to swallow. With the help of Judy the Elf, Scott is able to understand why his role as Santa is so important.
Unfortunately, Scott wakes up not remembering what happened at the North Pole, and thinking that it was all a dream, Charlie remembers. Charlie actually totally lets the cat out of the bag and tells his class that his dad is Santa Claus. Now Scott is on trial. He has to explain to Charlie that he is not Santa and they did not go to the North Pole. They did, the kid is right, but no one listens to children. Things are looking grim for Christmas.
While all this is happening, Neil, Charlie’s mom’s sucky boyfriend and psychiatrist, is trying to get to the bottom of what Charlie is claiming. The only good thing about Neil is his sweaters. They are GOLD! Probably the best part of the movie.
In normal Tim Allen style, the movie is full of one liners. Lots of one liners, also he does his little grunt thing a bunch, you know the one.
Everyday Scott is becoming more and more like Santa. He grows a beard, which he shaves every morning but comes back by lunch, his hair turns grey, and he puts on 45 pounds in a week. Looking hot, if you are into Santa, which I am, (tmi).
He looks good!!
But his good looks will not save his visitation rights. Charlie’s dumb mom and Neil get his visitation rights taken away, but he ends up technically kidnapping Charlie and taking him to the North Pole.
Scott, or Santa, gets arrested. Of course. Adults are literally the worst. They ruin everything! Why cant this guy be Santa? Why is that so crazy! Anyways, “Elves with attitude” are called in to save Santa. They proceed to break him out of jail. Scott takes Charlie home to his mother’s place. Scott says goodbye to Charlie and everyone blubbers. Finally, Charlie’s mom believes that Scott is Santa. Duh!
To be honest, this movie is not bad! I expected it to be total garbage. It is a heartwarming tale, just like all of the other movies this month! I have found a lot of new favourite movies, that are now on my Christmas classic list.
The Santa Clause receives 4 farting Comets out of a possible 5.